But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
