We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
