Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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