This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
