omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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