A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize