Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
