You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
