i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
