you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
