It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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