Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
