I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
