4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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