So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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