hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
