Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
