worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
