she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,