ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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