How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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