Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
