i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
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Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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