i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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