After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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