Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize