my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
