I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We talked him into tasing himself.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
