I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
