i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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