If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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