she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
