Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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