i just had sex bonerless
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
we're so committed to being not committed
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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