the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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