fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
