when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
