Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
