Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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