I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
