He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
