she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
