theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
