Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
