I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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