the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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