My Higher Power is John Stamos
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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