What a fucking waste of an outfit
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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