I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
