It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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