When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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