just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
