my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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