ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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