he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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