we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
