Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
