Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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