dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
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anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
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The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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