you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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