i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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