Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
