sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
