I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
